who th’ who

Yes, it’s who you know, but the who might not be who you think.

Everyone tells you it's "who you know" in the music business. So you picture yourself schmoozing with A&R executives at industry parties or sliding into the DMs of influencers with millions of followers. You think you need to somehow get face time with VIPs, the gatekeepers who can "make" your career with one yes.

But here's what nobody tells you: you're chasing the wrong "who."

The people who will actually build your career aren't in corner offices or VIP sections. They're the drummer at your local open mic who knows every sound engineer within earshot. The singer-songwriter who's been grinding for three years and understands exactly what you're going through. Your roommate who always show up when you play. The bartender at the venue who books shows and remembers artists who treat the staff well.

Your career isn’t built on one big connection.

It's built on dozens of smaller ones, with people who are right there in the trenches with you.

Sure, talent matters, but a career that actually sustains you? That's built on relationships, mutual respect, and genuinely helping each other succeed. It's not about what you can extract from people; it's about the value you bring to your community.

Here’s six key ways to stop chasing industry phantoms and start building a network that will actually help get you where you want to go.

1. Show Up Where the Music Is

Every big stage started as a tiny one. Your local scene, the open mics, jam sessions, those genre-specific shows at the dive bar down the street—that's where real connections happen. You'll meet your future writing partners, find bandmates who get it, and build a support system of people who actually understand what this journey feels like. People who know people you should get to know.

Don't just play your set and bail. Stick around. Listen to other acts. Become the person everyone recognizes and is genuinely happy to see.

2. Stop Networking, Start Collaborating

Networking feels weird because it is weird. It’s all about extracting value from strangers.

Collaboration? That's where the magic happens.

When you reach out to another artist, producer, or even that sound engineer who always nails the mix, don't just say "We should work together sometime."

Come with a real idea—something specific that shows you've thought about how your skills could complement each other and why it would benefit everyone involved.

3. Be the Artist Everyone Wants to Work With

This one's simple but not easy. Show up on time. Communicate clearly. Deliver what you promise, whether that's a killer demo or a solid live performance.

And here's the kicker: genuinely support other people's work. Celebrate their wins, offer help when you can, and don't keep score.

When you're known as someone who always shows up and supports others, doors start opening in ways you never expected.

4. Gatekeepers No Longer Hold All The Keys

Here's the plot twist: while most everyone is still chasing the industry deal, the real power has shifted.

Yeah, A&Rs and booking agents can still open doors, but you have a direct line to your audience through social media and streaming platforms. It's a crowded space, sure, but if you're strategic, patient, and keep it real, you can build your own platform.

That way, when you do approach industry folks, you're not begging for a break—you're showing them what you've already built. Come with momentum, a community you're growing yourself, and proof that you're an artist who is impacting culture for good.

5. Make Your Online Presence Count

Your social media isn't just posting cool photos or your latest release. It's how people find you and decide if they want to work with you.

Engage with fans and other artists on the platforms that actually matter for your genre. Jump into conversations that matter to you, share insights, and use these spaces to build real connections—not just rack up followers.

Yes, it takes time and consistent effort, but here's the reality: Without an online community, you're invisible. Even the most connected local scene won't sustain a career if nobody can find you when they're ready to listen.

You're building a community of people who genuinely care about your music, not chasing vanity metrics.

6. Keep Growing (Without Losing Yourself)

Being uniquely you doesn't mean you have the luxury of being static. The artists who stick around are the ones constantly learning and getting better at their craft.

Sign up for a workshop, take an online course, or find someone whose opinion you trust to give you honest feedback. Spend at least a small part of your day learning something new, stretching a skill you already have or asking good questions of people who know more than you.

When people see you're genuinely committed to improving, they take you seriously.

The Long Game

Building a music career that actually sustains you isn't a sprint. It's about becoming someone the community values and surrounding yourself with people who believe in your vision as much as you do.

Ready to stop waiting for your big break and get to know the real who? Let’s talk.